Back to work. Trouble focusing. The fog started to lift by afternoon and then the phone rang and it was time to recollect details. Foggy once more.

At this point I find myself caught up in a struggle, between the compulsion to wall myself off, and the wish to work all of this into the fabric of my life, just one more experience that shapes me.

To be able to recognize it as such requires the distance of perspective. That means it is in the past. And that is where I will it to go, and to stay.

Plead with the visions that jump up behind my eyes when I least expect them, when they are most inconvenient. Clamp my hands over my eyes and rub. Rub them away, back into the depths. It works, you know?

I laughed a few times today. And I made a couple of people chuckle. Maybe they were being generous under the circumstances. But the awkwardness we shared as the laughter faded and what is was remembered was real.

Laughter is a start.